Sunday, 10 March 2013

Spoofed! (Series;1 Ep.2) Samsung Galaxy Note XL Revealed!!!


Again, this is a re-publicatin and this is out-of-date so read with a pinch of salt. 

Please Note that the following feature contains offensive language.

Samsung yesterday revealed their new, upcoming smartphone The Galaxy Note XL. The soon to be released successor to the awesome Galaxy Note 2 will offer some brand new and unique features that will no doubt remain exclusive to this phone.

The Note phones are well known for their big screens - and the XL is no exception. Samsung, yet again trying to ensure they remain in the spotlight over Apple, are including the first ever 7inch screen on a phone. While many consumers may argue it has now crossed the line into becoming a tablet that just makes calls, Samsung have assured customers it is far more than that and should not be classed as a tablet. 

Speaking about the enormous screen size, a Samsung representative told website Llort:

"Of course it's still a phone. We understand consumers may have concerns about the gigantic and pointless size of the screen, but we assure people that this is still very much a phone. Obviously tablets don't make calls or texts. Also if you go on our website it's labelled under the category 'smartphones', so it is clearly not a tablet."

When asked about possible controversy about the screen size simply being a ploy to stay in the spotlight of the media, the representative continued:

"Of course this is not an attention seeking ploy - we're not Apple. Wait can you cut that? I don't think I'm allowed to say Apple in a Samsung interview...

Anyway, there are millions of brilliant reasons we have included this stupidly large and unnecessary screen on our device! There is now an extra 1.5inches to take notes on, so you can note your life away! You'll never be without room to note and quite frankly, if you didn't like noting before you use the Note XL, I guarantee you will be note crazy after this. Well not guarantee - I don't want to be sued. I mean, I guess you will. Or you might. 
You can now note with even more note taking features with our included apps: "Note On The Go", "Note For Life", "Note This Bitch', "Note Way? Are Serious" and "Note, I Don't Want a Beer, I Wanted a Bacardi. Note I Didn't Say That. I HAVE A NOTE TO PROOVE IT"."

Unfortunately the interview had to be delayed due to the interviewee having to take an important call on his iPhone 5.

The other large attraction of the Note phones has been their included styluses which allow for many unique features to be accessed through their use as well as being easier to write with.

The Note XL includes two styluses this time, to allow for a new feature called 'dual noting'. This feature can comes into use with the app "Let's Note Together (forever)" as well as offering other interesting uses.

After returning from his call, the Samsung Representative was asked about 'dual noting' and its implementation. 

"It's brilliant really - and I'm not just saying that because Samsung pay me to.
It's such a useful feature that will no doubt impact the way people use their Note phone with other people. Dual Noting in conjunction with the Samsung app "Let's Note Together (forever)" allows people to use one of the two styluses each and, as the name suggests, note together! 
Noting can be such a personal and deep experience by oneself, and there is no reason that can't be shared between two people. We really want to extend this feature to include even more people. Honestly, noting will never be the same with "Let's Note Together (forever)".

Another use for Dual Noting allows one person to use both styluses to note twice as fast. Quite like with our totally useless Swype Texting app, Dual Noting in texting and note taking will take forever to get used to and even then you'll still be making a crap load of mistakes. Oops, can you cut that out too?"

Aside from the styluses and new screen, what else has changed with the Note XL?

"Well, quite frankly, we listened to our customers complaints. Obviously a lot of them were related to the fact the Note 2 was too big for pockets, but we can't help that. It's going to be running the latest version of Android though."

Recent reports about there being a Note XL tablet have also risen. According to reports and rumours the device will feature the largest screen in the history of the world. But they're just rumours. When asked about this the Samsung Representative stated:

"Well I can neither confirm no deny any rumours. We are constantly working on new products to rip our customers off with. That said we certainly are interested in breaking some world records to do with screen sizes. You never know, there might just happen to be a leak about it."

There's no doubt many fans will be queuing up in order to purchase the latest phone in the Note series when it hits shelves early March. 
Rumoured to follow shortly after its release is the Note XXL however, which may cause some distress to buyers of the XL version. That said, information about this other version of the phone is scarce.

"Well," The Sasmung Representative continued when questioned about this, "We are working on another version of the Note XL, but this version will be so drastically different, buyers of the XL could not possibly feel unhappy with their purchases."

When asked what would be so different about the XXL, he continued:

"Well the screen obviously. We've been asking our online community and we're currently thinking of a size of around 10inches. Some might say that is too big, but that is what Samsung is - big. We are big, we think big - we're muthafucking Samsung okay? Jesus Christ... Go buy Apple is you don't like our intelligent and innovative products then, whiny bitch...."

According to the interviewing website Llort, the representative then stormed off crying about how he needed to have his daily noting session to express his issues.

According to Samsung, the new tagline for their upcoming product, Note XL, will be:

Say Note To Apple and Yes To Note.

Rumours about the tagline for the Note XXL have also surfaced which Samsung neither endorses or denies. The tagline is rumoured to be something like:

Galaxy Note XXL - Bigger Than Your Boyfriend (or your money back).

The Note XL is reported to be released early March with an actual release day not specified.

Disclaimer:

Please be aware that this is a spoof article and is completely fake. This has no relation to Samsung in the least and is not a real representation of anything they have done. This article has no relevance or relation to any company or brand mentioned nor is the basis of the article real. This is a work of fiction. There is no aim to confuse of fool people with this article and it is meant to be read with the fact it is a fake piece of comedy in mind. This was not meant to offend anybody. The website "Llort" does not relate to any real life websites of the same name. Llort in this article represents the word "Troll" backwards in reference to the comedic tone of the the article and does not have any  purposeful or meaningful similarities to real websites of a same or similar nature in title or content.

Thank you for reading.

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